Pizza Girl: June Bug Season Is Here

Every week, Pizza Girl (Diary of a Pizza Girl) stops by with insights and a behind-the-scenes look into the world of pizza-delivery drivers. Take it away, PG! —The Mgmt.

20100415-june-bug.jpgSpring is in full swing here in Texas; the trees have all exploded with bloom and new leaves, the medians are filled with bluebonnets and other wildflowers, and pollen coats my car as the oak trees make their annual mad dash to create baby oak trees. It is the perfect time to be out and about, taking deliveries and observing the world. It's too warm for a jacket but just cool enough that I'm not sweating.

There is only one thing that I dislike about spring: June bugs.

I am afraid of bugs, which I know isn't advantageous in my line of work, as the porch lights used to mark houses are the very things that draw moths, various flying insects, and June bugs. They're the worst.

I don't know if every part of the country has these particular insects, but they're basically a medium sized ball of beetle that's extremely clumsy and makes a loud Thwap! whenever it runs into anything. Not only do they make that noise, but they tend to stick to clothes, hats, and delivery bags if they do run into them.

Here's my strategy for dealing with the fear:

  1. Breathe
  2. Try to stand as far away from the light as possible
  3. Use my hat like blinders, pretend that they aren't there
  4. Try not to shake so much that I drop pizzas/pen/receipts, etc
  5. If one lands on me, freak out on the inside until the customer shuts the door, then freak out on the outside. Try not to let all that to involve screaming
  6. Wait till I get back to the car to cry (yes, I cry, I'm sure there's some sort of chemical reason that coming down from the adrenaline and panic causes me to cry)

Any advice for surviving June bug season?

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