A Hamburger Today
Would You Like Ranch Or Vinaigrette With Your Slice?
photograph by Joe Schumacher | Blogger Joe Schumacher visits Morningside Heights pizzeria Koronet and observes some strange behavior. Koronet, for those of you who don't know, is known for slices that can be described as "as big as your head." In his blog entry Extra Value Is What You Get, Mr. Schumacher says:
While I was eating, three teenagers with southeast Ohio accents came in and also got slices. Koronet's slices are so large that you have to fold them in order to eat them. These guys weren't folding and it wasn't a pretty sight. I was about to show them how to fold their slice when the unforgivable happened. One guy asked at the counter for marinara sauce for dipping and the [other guy] asked for ranch dressing. Ranch dressing??? They were beyond my help.
We're a bit more forgiving at Slice; half the staff here grew up in the Midwest, you see. And, after hours of pizza-related observations made in the Heartland, we can state with some authority that those Buckeyes were dipping their endcrusts in the marinara and the ranch, not the slice itself. Not that endcrust dipping is any more appetizing, though.
In Lawrence, Kansas, late-night pizza deliveries from Pizza Shuttle and Gumby's would often arrive accompanied by little containers of ranch dressing for endcrust dipping. I tried it once. Bleh. Our take at Slice is: If you have to dress the endcrust with something to make it edible, you haven't done your job as a pizzamaker. That said, I often dressed endcrusts with the honey that the hippie pizzeria offered. It was just too thick and bready otherwise.
OK. Enough reminiscing. Mr. Schumacher has a unique take on Koronet: "The slices are large enough that I find myself shaking Parmesan on one section, hot pepper on another section, and oregano on a third."
Ah. Not only did you maximize value, Mr. Shumacher, you've also gained extra variety.
UPDATE: Mr. Schumacher e-mails with some new ranch-dressing-on-pizza info:
I was curious what that guy was going to do with the dressing, but Koronet didn't have any. After some searching I have found that Laci Peterson liked ranch dressing on her pizza but Scott did not.