This Is Just Unreel

Posted by Adam Kuban, November 30, 2004 at 2:55 PM

While reading this item on Colin Farrell on Hollywood gossip blog Defamer, I discovered Query Letters I Love, a blog chronicling some really ludicrous screenplay pitches. While going through the archives, laughing out loud at my desk, I ran across this one:

"I was given a script a few years back entitled PIZZAMAN. The plot consisted of a bitter 50 year old pizzaman who was never able to quit the job he started as a teenager. So to take his revenge on a cold and heartless world, he hacks people apart with a pizza slicer. Oh, and he bakes a couple of them in a pizza oven. Oh, and I think someone might get stuffed to death with anchovies. Bizarrely it was pitched as a London based Rom-com. (the pizzaguy meets a woman he doesn't want to kill and she convinces him to quit his job. He ends up manager of the pizza place. Their lovechild grows up to become the new delivery boy. And of course he goes around slicing and baking people too. The cycle of abuse is a tragic thing.)"

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Tags: Oddities