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Deep-Fried Pizza

Posted by Adam Kuban, December 7, 2004 at 11:13 AM

Damn Scots took my idea.

If someone can open a restaurant that just serves grilled cheese, offers only cereal, or that specializes solely in PBJ, then where's my gimmick?

My idea struck while discussing deep-fried turkey with Slice's own Seltzerboy just prior to Thanksgiving. People love pizza. People love deep-fried food. A deep-fried pizza would surely be a hit. Like grilled pizza, it would be one of those things so deceptively simple that you'd wonder why it had never been done before.

But then this morning Tien e-mails me this story in the New York Times that briefly mentions deep-fried pizza.

Damn Scots.

GLASGOW - As dinner sizzled and popped inside a vat of grease at Jaconelli's Fish and Chips, Deborah Ski, a customer eyeing the thick macaroni and cheese, did not mince words about Scotland's poor health.

Smoking is one reason for Scotland's "sick man of Europe" tag, she said. But another was staring her in the face: deep fried pizza, covered in a coating of batter for added crunch, sometimes doused with salt and vinegar or soupy gravy.

"It soaks up the grease like a sponge," Ms. Ski said. "It's heart attack material there."

The smorgasbord of Scottish indulgences goes on: fried fish, fried sausage and fried hamburger, also encased in batter. There was fried haggis (sheep stomach's bag) and fried black pudding (boiled pig's blood in intestines). If vegetables are required, French fries, or chips, are on offer, the saltier the better. For dessert, the fried Mars bar can be ready in no time, although not at Jaconelli's, where the concoction is ridiculed as a media-hyped fad.

We're brought up on rubbish and, as parents, we give our children rubbish to eat," Ms. Ski said at the fish and chips shop, known as a chippie, in Mary Hill, a working-class enclave of Glasgow. Life today is a mad rush, she said, and few people have time for a proper sit-down dinner. "There just isn't anywhere to go to get something quick that isn't rubbish."

Paul Jaconelli, the owner, grimaced when he spoke of the 100 fried pizzas he sells a week, or the fact that there are 10 chippies on one stretch of Mary Hill road, not to mention the Chinese and curry take- outs. "To eat healthy costs more money," he said, "and there is a wee bit of laziness, as well. People are not as active as they should be here and they don't cook as much at home."

Next time our New Jersey correspondent, Steve, the Englishman Who Likes Pizza Hut visits the UK, we'll send him to Scotland to investigate.

FURTHER READING
A Slice Only Groundskeeper Willie Could Love: Speaking of Scotch delicacies, the latest in fusion pizza combines our favorite dish with ... haggis!?

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Tags: Oddities