Welcome to The K.C., Bitch


This is how it's done in Kansas City:

From Left: A sausage-and-onion pie from D'Bronx. A plain slice from Pizza 51. A plain slice from Joe's.

Remember on The O.C., before Luke turned nice, how he kicked Ryan's ass on the beach before delivering the lines that serve as the title and lede of this post?

After eating pizza here in The K.C., I feel a bit like Ryan, rolling in the sand, clutching my stomach—with one notable exception so far.

On the drive to my parents' house from the airport, we stopped at D'Bronx. E-Rock has already reviewed D'Bronx, so I won't go into much detail here but to say I'd stay away from it for pizza. The sauce was on the sour side and the dough loaded with so much cheese that the dough was raw in patches on the top side. After two slices, both my pops and I were stuffed and had to force down a third each just to finish the pie. But I remember the deli sandwiches from youthful days spent record shopping in the area. Now those were good. I'd skip the pie and stick to them, as they're what really make this airy, high-ceilinged, neighborhood place shine.

After D'Bronx, it would be hours before I'd have enough room to cram down more pizza, so the folks and I drove around The K.C., taking in the sights. They had just moved back from Florida, and in the three years they'd lived down in the FLA, Kansas City and its suburbs had changed immensely. You can imagine how different it was for me, then, having been away—with only quick trips back here and there—for, oh, about 13 years now. Pop Slice drove while Ma Slice pointed out the various big-box retail complexes going in on almost every major intersection in the southern suburbs. They were all pretty much the same, the difference being whether this one featured a Petco vs. a Petsmart or a Super Wal-Mart vs. a SuperTarget.

But, hey: Who's complaining? At least one-third of these developments had a Culver's under construction, slated to "open soon."

What's a Culver's, you ask? Why, it's only home to the ButterBurger, which, while not pizza, was the only thing I could manage to fit in my stomach for the rest of the day Saturday. Culver's use of fresh ingredients with burgers made to order brings to mind the In-N-Out Burger philosophy. Oh, and Culver's, based in Sauk City, Wisconsin, also makes some delicious frozen custard (which New Yorkers might be familiar with now, thanks to Danny Meyer's Shake Shack.

Anyway, it's 10:30 a.m., Central time as I write this. My ride to Austin is coming to pick me up in an hour and I've still yet to pack. So more on Pizza 51 (the one redeeming pizzeria so far) and Joe's Buy the Slice (absolute dreck) the next time I have access to a wireless connection.

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