Mr. Smith Gets Indigestion in Washington

Posted by seltzerboy, May 18, 2005 at 3:58 PM

You know Slice is asleep at the bandwidth, or that the pieman who spearheads this fine service has been moonlighting for another, when we miss some important pizza news breaking from our nation’s capital.

As first reported in last week’s edition of the Onion, the senior circuit of Washington’s bicameral legislature cajoled its members to an after-hours session by fronting the bill for burning the midnight olive oil.

Senators Lured Back To Emergency Session By Promise Of Free Pizza
WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S. senators from both parties, tired and eager to go home to their families after a hard day of legislation, were enticed back into the Senate chamber for an emergency budget session Tuesday by the promise of Little Caesars. "I know it's been a long day, but if you stay late, there's gonna be pizza," said Majority Whip Mitch McConnell at 9:30 p.m. "Don't tell [Senate Majority Leader Bill] Frist, but stick around, and I'll make sure you all get an extra order of Crazy Bread with sauce." The senators only relented when McConnell promised that if they hammered out the budget by 1 a.m., they could rent Glengarry Glen Ross and watch it in the hearing room.

Far be it from us to discourage our leaders from indulging on our favorite food. But if Little Caesars is the "pizza" of choice, this undistinguished gentleman from New York might have to mount a filibuster—or stage a Capitol Hill news conference deploring this wasteful use of the taxpayers' money, which amounts to nothing more than logrolling for the chain-pizza industry. We wonder if Senator Robert Byrd knows of some obscure Senate rule forbidding chain pizza from the hallowed chamber’s halls. On second thought, Mr. Byrd would probably be in bed by the time the sauce hit the gavel.

If our esteemed representatives would like to chow on some pie while in session, they should head over to Macomb Street in the Northwest quadrant of the capital. In Ed Levine’s fine new book A Slice Of Heaven—a long-awaited Slice review is coming soon—he speaks highly of the pie at D.C.'s 2 Amys. We can’t speak first-hand of this business, which many readers based in the District have told us to check out if we're ever down D.C. way, but it boasts of a wood-burning oven, San Marzano tomatoes, and two types of fresh mozzarella (including buffalo mozzarella).

That’s our idea of bipartisan legislation.

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Tags: Oddities