Sure, they all blogged it last week, but who among them bought it? Who among them spent their hard-earned money on a NyFork? Who among them risked life and limb (well, tongue and finger, more like it) to test this gizmo for its effectiveness in service to the pizza-eating public?
That's right: Nobody. This blog alone braved the dual dangers of hot pizza and sharp slicer (so sharp, in fact, that it is "not recommended for use by small children") to bring you this report.
I received my set of two NyForks yesterday afternoon at the office. Instead of heading directly home after a busy day, I adjusted my route slightly to visit Franny's, a pizzeria with splendid pies. Splendid pies that don't come to table sliced; they are instead served uncut as is the fashion in Naples (or so I hear). This gadget was MADE for places like this. Afterall, it's easy to make a a mess of a pie trying to cut through its chewy crust with knife and fork.
What better adversary for my NyFork than my favorite Franny's pie, the one that features homemade mozzarella and house-cured fennel sausage? (Please direct your attention to the precut specimen at left.) With more than just crust and cheese to get through, I reasoned, this meaty pizza would test the fork's mettle.
The pie was placed before me on the bar. I reached into my bag and unsheathed the hybrid utensil. The dim light of the overhead fixture glinted off its tines. The cutting wheel jiggled ever so slightly on its axle, broadcasting a faint but satsifying jingle of metal on metal.
I struck quickly.
Before pie, patrons, or proprietor knew what was happening, I had deftly cut the fennel-sausage pie into four neat slices ...
OK. That's not true. The truth is that the NyFork works pretty well. But for any pie that is as big or slightly bigger than the plate, as is the case at Franny's, you're going to have some trouble near the cornicione (the end crust) because you'll be rolling against the curved lip of the dish. On the flat part of the plate, it worked quite well and was sharp enough to cut cleanly through sausage, cheese, and crust.
And the truth is that Franny herself noticed me using the utensil. She stared at me with a look of barely concealed bewilderment and tried to feign enthusiasm for the NyFork, asking, "Where did you get such a thing?"
"The Internet," I answered. "Where else are you going to get something this stupid?"
Yes. It's stupid, as witnessed by the fact that once I cut the pie into fourths, I simply picked it up to eat it. You don't need a fork to eat pizza. And when fellow neighborhood foodblogger Lia showed up later to help test, she too used the NyFork merely as slicer and not as fork.
The folks who make the NyFork themselves seem to regard it as a bit of a joke, too. Click on the product packaging above and read the copy: "LoversHold hands While U eat! HusbandsWork the remote While U Eat! WivesSmack your hubby While U Eat!"
A serious pizza tool this is not. But it might make a good gag gift for the pizza lover in your life.