You thought you were going to get off easy, Chicago? No way, man. We all know you hate the thin, crisp slices that typify the New York school of pizza. So I'm subjecting your Windy City eyes to your own version of hell:
The Hellmouth, as far as Chicago pizza-lovers are concerned:
More thin crusted horrors await you after the jump, my broad-shouldered friends. Bwahahaha!
Di Fara Pizza:
Behold the man and quake in fear:
You probably hate coal-ovens pizza, don't you?
And you loathe perfectly balanced toppings without the megastuffed goodness of your deep-dish pies:
And this boast totally rubs you the wrong way, don't it?
What's that? Oh, you're crying? OK. I'll let up on you. ... Or will I? Bwahahahaha!