PrintLactose and My Adios
Slice Is No Longer Being Updated. Feel Free to Poke Around the Archives
Ladies and gents, it's time to level with you. I've been having sleepless nights as of late for more than one reason. First, I noticed that whenever I ate pizza or anything with a dairy component, I started feeling funny. I won't go into details, as you may be eating lunch right now, but suffice it to say, it wasn't pretty. After seeing my doctor, he diagnosed lactose intolerance. I pressed on for the sake of this site, trying Lactaid and reading various lactose intolerance forums for tips. Nothing has really worked (not even Lactaid Fast Act).
Which leads me to the other reason I've been up nights—worry and soul-searching.
How can I possibly continue to blog about pizza when I can't eat it?
The truth is, I can't.
So, with regret, I'm here to tell you that I'm going to put Slice in the freezer. I'm done pizza-blogging.
The archives will remain—you can browse them by date or category at right—but from here on out, Slice is but the digital equivalent of the grease stain that remains on the bottom of an empty pizza box.
It's been a fun ride, homeslices. I'll miss you.
Adios and hasta la pizza,
Adam
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19 Comments:
Well played, sir.
pizzaMePlease at 2:11PM on 04/01/08
Thanks, pizzaMePlease! It's been a fun 4+ years!
Adam Kuban at 2:14PM on 04/01/08
you can not mess around with my weak heart like that.
ruiniste at 2:33PM on 04/01/08
Hey... what's this paper fish doing on my back!? ;)
agabug at 2:38PM on 04/01/08
April Fools!
KevinFinnerty at 2:38PM on 04/01/08
While I don't believe this BS for a second, if it were to be true, I want you to do me one last favor and post my last article, homeslice! Oh, and pay my ass, son!
DJ_Bubbles at 2:42PM on 04/01/08
GAGH. I should have done this earlier in the day, when people weren't as clued in on AFD. OK. Y'all got me. And, Bubbles, will post the article.
Adam Kuban at 2:43PM on 04/01/08
I will not fall for another april fools day joke. I swear I hate this holiday, there's not even any food to go along with it!
jeffsayyes at 2:57PM on 04/01/08
@jeffsayyes: You're lucky I didn't do like I did on a previous April Fool's and turn Slice into a mirror of the Pizza Hut site. HAHAHAHAAHH
Adam Kuban at 3:03PM on 04/01/08
Nice try, Adam.
If that were true for me, I would contemplate suicide. I cannot live without cheese.
mdv at 4:14PM on 04/01/08
haha, all lactose intolerance means is you fart after you eat some pizza. Small price to pay for the greatest food in the world.
benlee at 11:43PM on 04/01/08
Hah. Thanks for the clarification, Benlee. I didn't know that—since I don't really have lactose intolerance.
Adam Kuban at 10:23AM on 04/02/08
Hey, I think that lactose intolerance causes you to fart before eating
the pizza, while standing in line for your slice. This could be an
advantage at a busy place by possibly thinning out the crowd.
You almost had me there, Adam. Nice try! I almost unsubscribed,
but decided to see what others had to say first. Great blog!
Stick around. Best Regards.
hermanb at 11:10AM on 04/02/08
Frank Pepe couldn't eat cheese OR tomatoes, and look what HE did for all pizza-kind....
NoahLovesPizza at 11:45AM on 04/02/08
I must admit you got me with that.
SoundBitesNYC at 12:19PM on 04/02/08
I do have lactose intolerance, and it's a lot more painful and exhausting than just farting, believe me. If anyone read this actually does have lactose intolerance, Ganeden's Digestive Advantage for Lactose Intolerance (available just about everywhere) changed my life. I was always able to tolerate pizza, but now I can have egg creams! Sour cream! Cream cream! Oh, and by the way, you take it like a vitamin, One a day, and you're good.
BaHa at 2:34PM on 04/02/08
Baha, I have lactose intolerance too. The key is to learn how to release your gas rather than let it sit in you. Sad to say, but I can fart on command. It allows me to avoid all the pain that used to get to me after drinking milk.
benlee at 2:38PM on 04/02/08
The comments on this post have really degenerated into an all-out shetshow in just a matter of minutes. You fart-huffers need to get it figured out before you finish off what's left of the ozone layer.
Signed,
Captain Intolerant of Intolerance and Fartfunky Ass Clowns
DJ_Bubbles at 2:59PM on 04/02/08
Benlee, as I stated in my post, gas was the very least of my problems! Cold sweat, cramping, and other things too gross to get into here.
BaHa at 3:31PM on 04/02/08