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Pie-Kuing: Today's Best Form of Procrastination

Posted by Erin Zimmer, April 30, 2008 at 2:00 PM

20080430-peppku.jpgThe Washington Post food section is gearing up for a pizza-devoted issue soon, so the staff is holding a Pie-Ku contest in the meantime.

Five syllables, then seven, then five—that's the drill, pepperoni poets. The deadline is today, so hurry!

Leave -kus in the comments section—we want to read 'em—then email your entries to food@washpost.com.

Of course, the Post is years behind the pie-ku curve. We held a Pizza Haiku contest on Slice in June 2005. Here was our favorite, by "Mr. Sin."

Crisp pepperoni,
Edge curled from heat,
A chalice of sweet, hot oil.

34 Comments

Tags: haiku, Pie-ku, pizza, Washington Post

34 Comments:

God you people are fabulous at finding me ways to waste time.

the formalized cut
decries hot cheesy passion
garlic sighs in, out

Karen Resta at 2:31PM on 04/30/08

I don't know how much punctuation is acceptable in a haiku but here goes:

Cheesy slice of joy
Won't you delight my senses?
Ouch! I burned my tongue.

AuntJone at 2:45PM on 04/30/08

Equilateral
Means delicious on all sides;
New York slice is king.

-Hayasugi

simon at 2:56PM on 04/30/08

@Karen Resta: How did I know you'd be first to comment here? ;)

Adam Kuban at 3:05PM on 04/30/08

Shiny orange hands
Two slices and a Snapple;
I'm getting sleepy.

-Hayasugi

simon at 3:07PM on 04/30/08

Sinice when is "edge curled from heat" seven syllables?

stretchycat at 3:09PM on 04/30/08

On a scrabble board,
So deliciously hopeless
Without a blank tile.

Seth Lavin at 3:13PM on 04/30/08

Cheese melts on top
Corn meal on crispy bottom
Happiness by the slice

hungrysailor at 3:13PM on 04/30/08

Chicago, New York
Debate rages eternal
I with glee eat both.

Sedosi at 3:17PM on 04/30/08

Once was one dollar
Now can be as much as five
Still my favorite

simon at 3:25PM on 04/30/08

Cheese, sauce, dough, heat, love.
Years of wisdom and hard work.
Sal, Carmine, heroes.

simon at 3:33PM on 04/30/08

Cheese and meat aside
Thin is the only hero
Just ask Lombardi

BryanPerry1 at 3:49PM on 04/30/08

Crisp pepperoni, (5)
Edge curled from heat, (4)
A chalice of sweet, hot oil. (7)

The "winner" up there is not a haiku at all - wtf?

editors, you suck
for choosing a botched haiku
as your contest champ

corbinski at 4:10PM on 04/30/08

No toppings for me.
Red pepper flake, garlic salt,
dry oregano.

simon at 4:13PM on 04/30/08

Still stuck in Boston.
Regina's Pizza beckons.
Moretti on tap.

simon at 4:15PM on 04/30/08

I really liked that one, so here it is, edited to fit:

Crisp pepperoni,
Edges curled up from high heat,
Chalice of hot oil.

Fixed!

Adam, this has been one of the most fun posts evarz.

simon at 4:20PM on 04/30/08

Hot from Dom's oven
A circle of bubbling bliss.
The diet can wait

kqrbob at 4:21PM on 04/30/08

Oops, I meant Erin... :)

simon at 4:22PM on 04/30/08

@strechycat and corbinski: I stand by that winning haiku today, same as I did in 2005. The 5-7-5 is not an absolute rule, merely a guideline. I quote from the almighty and all-knowing Wikipedia:

Due to the various views and practices today, it is impossible to single out any current style or format or subject matter as definitive "haiku." Nonetheless, some of the more common practices in English are:

* Use of three (or fewer) lines of about 17 or fewer syllables
* Use of a season word (kigo)
* Use of a cut or caesura (sometimes indicated by a punctuation mark) to contrast and compare, implicitly, two events, images, or situations

This gradual loosening of traditional standards, encouraged by such poet-critics as Bob Grumman, has resulted in the word "haiku" being applied to brief, mathematical "poems," ("mathemaku") and to visual poetry by Scott Helms. This attempt at stretching definitions of haiku can be considered excessive, but Grumman attempts to defend his position by pointing to an alleged blurring of definitional boundaries in Japan. Those cognizant of Japanese and the haiku scene in Japan dispute this claim.

Yours truly,
THE SUCKY EDITOR

Adam Kuban at 4:25PM on 04/30/08

Adam, don't get mad.
Instead grab a slice or two.
Cherry trees in bloom.

simon at 4:30PM on 04/30/08

fugitive moment
of unctuous perfection
saucy, sexy, gone.

flood at 4:59PM on 04/30/08

sausage, black olive
bacon, 'roni, and meatball
the runs tomorrow

-McGoGo

simon at 5:03PM on 04/30/08

This just in: Robert Pinksy, the incredibly accomplished poet, is judging the contest!

Erin Zimmer at 5:22PM on 04/30/08

Deep dish or thin crust
White, loaded, single topping
Love all, share, burp, smile

erinlovestoeat at 6:34PM on 04/30/08

That is an interesting choice of judge. American Pizza apparently has risen to its proper place in the world, for there are not too many ">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pinsky"> poet laureates wandering around here and there.

hunger for hot white
cheese stretched, bubbling tomato
poet's nose sniffs - ahhhhhh


Karen Resta at 7:01AM on 05/01/08

Thoughts of pizza
Curl my brain
Forget that link
Let's try again

The Poet Laur e Ate who will. Ate.

Karen Resta at 7:50AM on 05/01/08

I must stop.

Just one more. Aaaaarrgh.

quick lunch uptown slice
pavement hot heels high fold it
walk teeter bite sauced crunch

Karen Resta at 8:23AM on 05/01/08

Need to grab a slice,
Its been a day since the last,
I can hardly breathe

ESNY1077 at 10:09AM on 05/01/08

Pizza for breakfast?
It's good cold or reheated.
Not so with sushi.

simon at 10:18AM on 05/01/08

Sadness and dismay:
They are squeezing off the oil!
They just don't get it...

simon at 10:57AM on 05/01/08

The beer and pizza
combo. Timeless classic.
Cotes-du-Rhone works too.

simon at 11:52AM on 05/01/08

pizza haiku yay!
pizza limericks, better.
editor, contest?

Karen Resta at 12:37PM on 05/01/08

primeval delight
on a blazing wood fire;
cheese elevates bread.

thursdaynightsmackdown at 12:50PM on 05/01/08

Flour everywhere
Fresh dough stuck to all four walls
Next time watch the fan

nalyd at 10:45PM on 05/01/08

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