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Why Pepperoni Pizza Sucks

20080917-pepperoni.jpg

But can sausage trap its own greasy goodness, like this?

Jon Eick over at the blog So Good has a great rant about pepperoni. Long story short, he don't like it. Here's why:

If pizza is high quality, a mere slice of cheese is delicious. If pizza is mediocre, I understand the need to add toppings. But I have news for you pepperoni: you ain’t all that and a bag of chips. Pepperoni, while ok, is simply NOT good enough to have earned it’s place as the default pizza order of choice on merit alone. Hell no. I believe it has earned that place through process of elimination, unadventurous American taste buds and dumb luck. It’s cheap, it’s meaty, it’s salty, and it adds additional flavor to an otherwise bland pizza. But you know what? So does sausage. But sausage just doesn’t look good in photos like pepperoni does, so pizza places don’t advertise the shit out of it.

I generally agree with Jon on this one. Pepperoni is fairly unimaginative as a topping—but sometimes it just hits the spot. After the jump, an ode to pepperoni in haiku form. But first, I've gotta ask: What is the most unexpected but good topping combo you've ordered or placed on a pizza?

The Most Awesome 'Pie-ku' Ever

Crisp pepperoni,
Edge curled from heat,
A chalice of sweet, hot oil.
—submitted by Mr. Sin in a June 2005 "pie-ku" contest we held

110 Comments:

I think sausage is under deeper scrutiny, because only good sausage on a mediocre pizza will benefit the pizza. Otherwise, the mediocre pizza will stay mediocre, perhaps with more meatiness.

Since I live in such a huge Punjabi diaspora in Canada (Brampton). the pizzas here can be gotten from Pizza Depot (a local chain) topped "Indian Style" with extra garlic, as well as chilies, ginger and cilantro. Needless to say, it's very good.

As well, Pizza Pizza has tried to cash in on this trend by offering pizzas with a chicken tikka masala sauce instead of a regular pizza sauce. It's satisfactory, but other pizza places (see above) have much better tasting pizzas.

Shaved sausage. It's just the right amount of sausage. I only ever had it at one place, but it really was an awesome way to get a sausage pizza without it being overwhelmed by sausageyness.

Alternately: shaved garlic.

And, of course, ham and pineapple.

Artichoke and feta would have been my comment three years ago. Now? Truffled macaroni & cheese-topped pizza (in London), Fig and goat cheese (A experiment in my own kitchen) and I also had a really interesting sharp cheddar and caramelized Vidalia pizza make its way out of my kitchen recently. What can I say, I'm a college student with a wannabe-gourmet curiosity!

Pepperoni is a funny thing. Ever notice how if you get a 1/2 pepperoni and 1/2 plain how funny it cooks? There are also different grades of pepperoni, like anchovies. The cheap stuff is just that.
The best way to judge a pie is plain old cheese.
As for toppings, the most unexpected good taste I ever had was a demi-glaze pizza from Paninis Pizza in Piscataway N.J.

I was at a pizza party last week where one option was red onion, banana pepper, and bacon. I have no idea how the person who ordered came up with that idea, but I'll be damned. It wasn't bad.

The author clearly is the victim of standard-issue pepperoni. You need to visit the pizzerias that have their pepperoni made for them, based on their own specific recpies designed to compliment the taste of their pie.

The best example I can give of this is the pizza of Buffalo, NY... go visit nearly any neighborhood pizzeria and they likely have a hand-crafted pepperoni. See Bocce... see Bozanas... etc.

Pepperoni is indeed the perfect basic complement to a pizza and is a requirement in my book!


as i sit here eating a pizza with egg on it ...
oh yeah ... egg.

The main reason I eat pizza is because it goes well with my tasty, tasty, pepperoni.

I love a "works" pizza including black AND green olives. I despise straight up pepperoni.

The non artery-clogging variety of eggplant (i.e. not battered and fried to death). Even better if the crust is just the right balance between chewy and crispy, and the sauce is half alfredo/half marinara on the spicy side.

Banana peppers with and red onions along with those pepperoni

I'm just not comfortable with the concpet of pizza snobs.

cranberries marinated in scotch ale. seriously.

I never thought I'd dig arugula on a pizza until I had it at Jeff Varasano's. He says it's his "chick"pizza.

Gorgonzola and caramelized onions...mmmm.....

Mmmm, egg on pizza. So good, though my go-to fave combo is capicola, julienned peppadews and sliced Walla Walla sweets. Drizzle a little pepper-infused olive oil when it's fresh outta the oven and you'll swear you'll hear angels singing...

Mmm pizza. Have not had any in awhile as my town is barren of good pizza.
I want to move to my friend's in NZ though, and go here for pizza-
https://www.hell.co.nz/site.jsp?city=Wellington&p=false
YUM

@beebo - dude, right on. Egg on pizza is amazing.

And if you don't like the pools of fat in your pepperoni, grab a paper towel and blot. That's what I do with most chain pizzas. You still have enough cheese and pepperoni fat to make it taste good, but you can fool yourself into thinking you made it "healthy" by removing the excess fat.

Italian sausage and Canadian bacon ... the One True Way! A nice balance of meatiness.

I think a couple of people have hit on the answer here regarding pepperoni and sausage. YOU HAVE TO USE THE BEST YOU CAN FIND. I have been making my own from scratch pizzas for a few years now. Mediocre ingredients just do not cut it. I have also recently started adding the meats, roasted peppers and about 1/2 the cheese about 1/2 way through the baking process. You get some nice creamy cheese on top and the meats are not overcooked from an extended bake. If I had a real pizzeria oven perhaps I would not need to do this, but I feel it yields a better pie.

I'll have to agree with fried egg as unexpectedly good on pizza -- especially along with a salty topping like calamata olives.

My favorite unusual topping combo is pineapple, feta, and banana peppers. It's got it all: sweet, salty, and hot. Mmm!

You just need the right pepperoni. Salumi Spicy Pepperoni is wonderful.

Jane and Michael Stern turned me on to the wonderful hot oil pies at Colony Grill in Stamford, CT. Believe it or not, what pepperoni sometimes needs is MORE oil -- as long as it's the super-spicy, fresh-tasting olio santo with which their crazy thin pies are drizzled.

1. baby spinach, roasted sweet potato, caramelized onions, garlic, rosemary sauce, mozzarella, and goat cheese

2. garlicky green olives, cracked black pepper, garlic olive oil, feta, goat cheese

I love these 2 combinations at Emma's pizza in Cambridge, MA

Has anybody ever has ground pepperoni? Its crazy good.
Oddest delicious topping was a Thai peanut sauce drizzled on a vegetarian pizza one time.

I put cooked maple bacon and raw shallots on my pizza. If I can afford them, portobello mushrooms. And lots of odd cheeses, whatever I can scrape up. I'm quite partial to Great Midwest Morel and Leek monterery Jack cheese, parmesan and asiago.

Anchovy and Hot Pepper - simply awesome

Uh, Jon? Pepperoni is a sausage. Your ignorance is quite clear.

Hmmm, I've never had an egg on pizza. Of course, now it's on the to-do list.

One of the local pizza joints here in Lil Rock has a signature pie called the BST - bacon, spinach and tomato. Not all that hugely inventive, however, paired with one of their awesome sauces (pink sauce = cross between regular red & spicy white), it becomes amazingly yum.

Damgoode Pies - check it out, the descriptions of the menu items are worth the peak. :-)

ooo ooo oo - I forgot one of the best things about Damgoode Pies... PBR is just a dollar every day all the time.

And yes, I'm poor & over time my tastebuds have really come to love the taste of pbr. (I

Sausage used to be my default topping of choice. But since like 5 years ago, I switch to pineapple. Not Hawaiian...just pineapple.

The sweetness brings a great balance.

My favorite uncommon topping, although not so adventurous, is pear! It adds a fantastic sweet accent, tender when cooked and it isn't ridiculously juicy as to make your pizza a soggy mess. The combination I had it in was pear, broccoli, Gouda and sliced garlic - delicious!

My husband swears by pineapple and jalepeño. Maybe it is a southern California thing to make everything Mexican by adding jalepeños.

My family and I love a particular sausage popular in southern Massachusetts and NE Rhode Island area - chourico. It's a Portuguese pork sausage that absolutely rocks any type of pizza from thin crust through Sicilian through Deep dish Chicago style.

Ideal topping for a pie is CHEESE.

Quality ingredients is the key to great Pizza. The best Pepperoni is Ezzo brand, and Grande cheese is a must. Both are available from Pennmac co. in Pittsburgh. http://www.pennmac.com/page/27
Oh Yeah..... Pepperoni doesn't suck!

An egg that cooked itself in a hole in the middle of the pizza, and there was also wasabi on it, believe me! In Slovenia.

1. shrimp- breaded deep fried and then placed on top. or baked into the crust (with tails on! whyyy?) sometimes just placed nude on (of course in a "come hither" pose, haha jk)

2. sweet potato. sliced, or mashed.


I make a lobster and roasted red pepper pizza that does, in fact, rock!

Leona's in Chicago does a Pasta Pizza that is really good. One heck of a carb load, but delish.

I do love a good pepperoni pizza now and then, but I have to agree that it can get pretty boring. While working for a pizza restaurant years ago, we tried a sausage and jalapeno pepper pie that was out of this world.

mashed potato and bacon pie from "bar" in new haven connecticut.

I've not had any pie that is different than the ones mentioned...

You know how people (me) like to pick of the bits of pepperoni that are dark and crispy? There a little Italian place in OKC that deep fries the pepperoni before they put it on the pizza and those little crispy, delicious morsels melt in your mouth. Non-crunchy pepperoni just doesn't work for me anymore. It's one of the better pizzas I've ever had.

honey mustard chicken pizza

I love bacon pizza. I have always wondered why it wasn't offered in more places, but maybe the scarcity makes it more appealing to me. Probably not though.

Oh, and I love Colony in Stamford too. Great pizza, great place.

Go to California Pizza Kitchen and you'll get some really unusual combos. They used to have a rosemary chicken pizza that was garlic-y good and their thai chicken pizza and even a BLT one was great.

But to get the best NJ/NY type pizza it's gotta be a fresh garlic pie well done. Lots of fresh garlic.

Everyone always looks at me wierd when I say, "Anything but pepperoni." At least I'm not alone anymore.

Favorite 'odd' topping: Potato & rosemary (ok, so it's not really odd).

Also, anchovies - I know, it's not wierd. Just under-rated.

Remember one Important Fact...

Even Bad Pizza is Good!

I think probably the most hilarious thing in this whole comment threads are the people suggesting that I am a "pizza snob." Go read my full rant people. I'm asking for total pizza topping equality - just treat pepperoni like all the other toppings.

So I want equality for all toppings, and that makes me a pizza snob. But the people that think one particular topping (pepperoni in this case) should maintain it's protected/favored status aren't pizza snobs?

Uh, yeah, that doesn't make sense.

At home, I'm pretty fond of goat cheese, rosemary and zucchini. At a restaurant, I like to stick to plain cheese, spinkled liberally with oregano and crushed red pepper. I like pepperoni, but it's so salty that I feel parched for hours after I eat it. Although the occasional slice of "jalaroni" pizza is just too tasty to pass up.

Wow, this blog is rockin'. I agree wholeheartedly about pepperoni. I will never serve it on one of my pies. As far as unusual toppings go, I ove a white clam pizza. Clams sauted in garlic and olive oil and sprinkled with parsley and sea salt. For dessert I love sliced fresh figs and mascarpone or Nutella and bosc pear slices. I'm in search of a good combo for guanciale right now. So far I've just done it with fior di latte and milled black pepper. Any suggestions? And please, no sunnyside egg.

Ciao,

Paulie Gee

I agree pepperoni is overated. I love veggies on a pizza. One combo I thought of as unusual but tasty, procuitto, fig and carmelized onion.

Chicken, bacon and beef. Ordered it by accident one time and it turned out better than it sounds with the caveat that the chicken has to be good which kind of eliminates Papa's and the Hut.

I’ve been to pizza hut in china. Pizza hut there is a sit down restaurant with menus and you can order shrimp cocktail. There is a huge variety of toppings and all kinds of different pizza. However there is a special pizza on the menu called the “American Special”. What is it? You guessed it, its pepperoni pizza. All the Chinese always ask me why its called American special. I just reply to them that Americans love pepperoni and pretty eat that only. They found this idea ridiculous and strange. Stupid boring American palate.

In Pittsburgh you can get a pierogi pizza at Church Brewworks that's insanely good. I wasn't a believer until I tried it, but it was truly delicious.

Real sausage is good. Prefab rabbit turds that chains use is not. But pepp is pepp everywhere, more or less.

One of my favorites is BBQ chicken pizza. A few years ago I never saw this pizza anywhere, but it seems to be all over the place now.

One strange one I saw once was apple and feta cheese. It was pretty good though. The strangest pizza I've ever heard of is shrimp and mayo at Pizza Hut in Japan.

I don't know why anyone would say that Italian sausage doesn't look good in photos. I think it looks a heck of a lot better than pepperoni.

mmm. meat.

jalapeno and pineapple - mmmmmmm

Garlic mashed potato, bacon, cheddar, green onion, sour cream. I couldn't believe it was good until I tried it!

California Pizza Kitchen has a BLT pizza...yup, Bacon, lettuce, tomato AND mayo. Never thought it would work...but it does.

I host pizza parties often and always ask people if they have any special topping requests beforehand. the weirdest request to me was pepperoni, pickles, and broccoli. we made it anyways and has now become one of the most requested pizzas in our arsenal. we call it the Craig special in honor of the original requester.

Bacon, onion, and pineapple a tasty pizza make. This was an inebriated "aha" moment that became my standard order, whenever I found anybody willing to go along with it. Of course, I also ate a lot of pizza alone, which is alternately divine and sad.

grilled butternut pumpkin, feta cheese, and pinenuts or mentaiko and potato slices =p

I'm not a big pepperoni fan either. But if it's cooked until very crisp, then I like it. But my favorite toppings are fresh garlic, fresh mushrooms, pickled banana peppers, and sun-dried tomatoes: one at a time or all together.

Bacon and black olive is great together. The nuttiness really comes through and matches up with the salty flavor of the bacon and the sweetness of the tomato sauce.

I'm a huge fan of pineapple and onion too. It's sort of the pizza version of sweet and sour.

Spinach and feta made one of the most delicious combinations I've had.

Skirt steak and spanish chorizo ... tried it at an Argentinian steak house once. The best pizza toppings I've ever had.

My favorite pizza ever: artichokes, sun-dried tomatoes, kalamata olives, and mozzarella. I've toyed with the idea of adding feta, but I think the deliciousness of that might kill me.

If I'm making a pizza, I'll start with a layer of pesto, then proceed as per traditional (cheese, sauce, maybe pepporoni and red onions, or any onions). A friend who liked Ledos rectangular pies turned me onto her fave combo of pre-cooked bacon, jalapenos and pineapple. Yum!!

People think I'm crazy, but here's my favorite
*Canadian Bacon
*Pineapple
*Jalapeno
*Anchovy

Like certain Southeast Asian cuisines, it combines the perfect combo of sweet, salty and spicy.

Oh, forgot to add that inebriation had alot to do with the creation....I think we drew the toppings out of a hat.

I think that a cheese pizza is the perfect combination/balance of textures and flavors. You have a crunchy/chewy crust, smooth sweetly acidic not overseasoned tomato sauce, and salty, fatty, chewy (different than the crust) cheese. The cheese compliments the sauce and the crust brings the whole party to your mouth. Each must be good quality and tasty. Together, perfect gastronomic harmony.

That being said, I discover this combination: olive oil, salt and pepper, then thinly slice raw shallots, a pile of arugula, a little fresh mozzerella and a good amount of freshly grated parmigiano reggiano. It is nomtastic.

Also pepperoni pizza sucks because it's not kosher. It's not a big deal to me but it is to other people I know.

There must be some tofu pepperoni out there for the kosher krew. Waddid I tell ya:

http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=7683.0

Ciao,

Paulie

When I was in Italy, I had pizza with brie, mozarella, and pear. My partner's pizza had shredded horsemeat (sfilacci di cavallo), and uh.. some other stuff I don't recall.

Yes, there is veggie pepperoni, but it's not very good. I haven't had the real stuff in over a decade, but I hope it tastes a lot better.

When I'm having *good* pizza, I like to enjoy it with just cheese, but the pizza locally isn't that good, so I cover it with veggies :)

I do like pineapple on pizza, but without ham. I don't actually consider that "weird" or anything.

Mm, I guess I've also had goat cheese on pizza, with roasted veggies. That's kind of outside the norm. (It was a frozen pizza, actually!)

I should learn to read the comments before I write my own :) Last one, I swear. I guess I've had all sorts of strange things on flatbread pizzas. Egg, beans, salsa.. Wasn't really thinking of those as pizza, but then pizza in Italy is closer to that sort of thing than what you would get as most pizzerias in America!

My favorite combo is baby shrimp, clams, roasted garlic and lemon zest on a white pizza. In fact, I think that may be dinner tonight!

And, not to be a link whore, but my BF was reading Serious Eats over my should last night while I was reading this article. He felt compelled to respond to that guy's pepperoni rant on his own blog here.

I forgot - one time I made a pizza with sliced, cooked potatoes, steamed mussels and a saffron cream sauce. The secret ingredient? Pepperoni. Damn tasty pie that was.

kimchi pizza! they used to have it at a pizzeria on roosevelt in flushing when i was little. oh man was it good. imagine a thin slice with kimchi (crunchy, spicy, and bit charred from the oven). the place wasn't even owned by koreans, they were italian! hilarious. i went back a few mos ago, the place is gone now, so sad.

if you have to add topping, sausage and ricotta.

Haven't had the guts but I'm holding out for uni (sea urchin roe) topped pizza. C'mon Morimoto and Chang.

It seems most people have forgotten that PIZZA is ITALIAN...no kimchi...no indian pizza...my God what a nightmare, but the garlic can stay...no mexican pizza...no jewish pizza...Italian sausage...yes...tofu...no.
When it comes to pizza, like most things, I am a purist. Just keep it real, as God intended:)
And, finally a big NO to California style pizza...with buffalo chicken and mexican topping and the rest of the garbage that they throw on it...it looks like someone threw up on it!

Calamari. I made pizza once with left over friend calamari rings and tentacles. It was a little chewy, but I enjoyed it.

@AG4JAZZ - Here's a unique pie I made on Saturday night you might like. All Italian ingredients (Fresh Mozzarella, Braised Fennel, Guanciale, Anisette Cream Drizzle and Fresh Fennel Fronds):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pauliegee/2875355578/

It might be the best pie I've ever made.

Ciao,

Paulie Gee

Thanks machineman, I'll check out those places next time I fly back to Buffalo. My favorites are thinly sliced potato with rosemary and a sprinkling of parm. That was at a takeout place and we ate it sitting on the main piazza in Siena, Italy.

Spinach, goat cheese and roasted garlic on a thin wheat crust. Thinly sliced roasted butternut squash with Fontina. And the classic Pissaladiere with caramelized onions and anchovies. I love pizza and am still looking to make the perfect crust. I'm almost there...

The weirdest topping I've had is probably Ranch Chicken or Baked Ziti. I've also had Buffalo Chicken on top, which is so good if it is really spicy.

I'm ok with pepperoni. The best combination of meats is pepperoni, sausage and bacon - I had that combination at a birthday party and it was excellent.

I agree that the most wonderful thin-crusted pizza with the best cheese and sauce is perfect the way it is. Really good pizza doesn't need anything but sometimes a few toppings makes it more interesting.

You can't live by plain pizza alone!

I often use Genoa salami instead of pepperoni.

I also make an Muffaletta Pizza with a combo mayo/sour cream sauce with olive spread mixed in, the topped with the salami, mortadella, ham or turkey and provolone. Sometimes artichoke hearts and always more olive spread on top.

Not for purists but darn good when you feel like being bad.

@robincat When I felt like bein' bad recently, I simply got on a plane and headed here for my Muffaletta fix:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pauliegee/sets/72157606497347702/

Ciao,

Paulie Gee

My personal fav. is pepperoni, period, as a matter of fact that photo above you have of a pepperoni looks perfecto!! Too many flavors to list that I do favor, so I will list what I don't like on pizza. Anchoves, caviar, and tomato slices. I prefer thin and crisp to thick or deep dish crust. Flavorful sauce is also a importance as well as the amount of cheese and I like alot of both.

my fave by far is eggplant slices . don't ask me why, it just is.

Pepperoni is awesome. You are all a bunch of snobs.

Green olives and onion. I ate it first at the insistence of a girl I was dating. She's now a distant foggy memory, but her pizza toppings still provoke the occassional craving.

i love, but can never find pizza places that will put salami on my pizza. i grew up in massachusetts, and our family was a salami pizza family. it is SO good! now i live in nyc, and i did find one place that put salami on a pizza once, but it only had salami the one time. i had to comment on this, because i really dislike pepperoni, and it only makes me want salami pizza more!

tuna and blue cheese.

Try it, love it.

I am from Buffalo, NY - so thanks Machineman! I can only shake my head in bafflement at what the rest of the country puts on their pizza. Indian style? Demi-glaze? Tuna? Really, people? Come to Buffalo and get a good old cheese and pepperoni from Bocce, Bozanna's, Just Pizza, LaNova, or even some corner joint. You'll never want it any other way!

try leftover pizza. i have been making this for years. whatever your favorite pizza. scrape the toppings off, heat, and add to 3 beaten eggs. add cheese on top. the best omelette ever. enjoy

The Bayou Beast at Two Boots: BBQ shrimp, crawfish, andouille sausage & jalapenos.

Whenever I try a new pizza place, I always order "The house special" because I want to see that place's idea of what the ideal pie is.

It is never a plain cheese or pepperoni pie, in my experience.

I almost never order sausage, because I love it and most places use crap.

My favorite place serves a pie with tons of ingredients and I savor every bite for the depth of flavors.

Phew! Lotsa posts. I'm afraid I've never been particularly fond of pepperoni...I don't hate it, but I wouldn't choose it. Go-to favorite? A combo of cheeses, including provolone and Cheddar with caramelized onions. I have had a fabulous Thai pizza, and by that I mean traditional in form (shape, size of crust, laying down of toppings, etc.) but Thai in flavors (chicken, purple basil, a bit of peanutty flavor, coconutty flavor, a base sauce that'll blow the top of your head off). That was fabulous...could only eat about a slice and a half but for that many bites, it was intoxicating.

ham and sauerkraut. Yep.

Pepperoni pizza sucks? What can i say... you are are crazy. Seek help. I appreciate the devil's advocacy – the iconoclasm, but... seek help. I'm serious.

I agree. Why is pepperoni the default ingredient?? I just think it's the most fun to say. Pepperoni.

Sausage, chicken and cashew. When the cashews get just a little burn on 'em, oh yeah baby!

No pepperone, love it uncooked with cheese & crackers or antipasto, but not on pizza, overpowers everything else. Same thing with bacon. Good sausage meat or plain cheese for me. And don't even start with those cowpies from Chicago!

smoked, thin-sliced ham and green olives...yum
And I make my own pizza at home
Besides plain cheese, the above mentioned are great for a change of pace

Feta cheese with tomatoes fresh out of the garden and kalamata olives sprinkled over a round of dough brushed with olive oil, minced garlic, greek oregano and a thin layer of mozzarella cheese is one of my favorite summer time pies. Even better when it's done on the grill.

ALthough plain cheese is always appreciated, I make 2 special pizzas that my family enjoys. One is buffalo wing chicken with pepper jack cheese,and the other is smoked mozz with sweet sausage and roasted red peppers.

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