What Pizzerias the Gossip Girls and Boys Would Frequent
Posted by Adam Kuban, December 2, 2008 at 11:30 PM
I just watched last night's Gossip Girl episode ("It's a Wonderful Lie"), the one where Vanessa has a gift certificate to Grimaldi's ("I'm thinking double pepperoni"). For all you non–New Yorkers, yes, it's a real place (you can read all about it here on Slice), and, yes, it does offer gift certificates (I called to make sure).
Vanessa Abrams
I agree with New York magazine's recap assessment—Vanessa would totally be a "Di Fara diehard." All the way. Why? Vanessa sucks. She's annoying and oppressively self-righteous in that way that only certain chip-on-shoulder Brooklynites can be. If you were unlucky enough to befriend her—or worse, date her—she would totally twist your arm, reverse-snob you, and schlep your ass all the way out there. "OMG, Nate! I totally know this little place that's hidden and has, like, the best pizza ever! None of your Constance Billard or St. Jude's friends would be caught dead there." And then she'd secretly judge you if you grumbled about the long wait or what a mess the dining room was.
Where the Rest of Them Would Eat Pizza
Blair Waldorf
My first thought: Blair wouldn't eat pizza. But then an evil little elf reminded me that, "Yes, she would! She would just throw up afterward!" I think any generic Ray's pizza would do for that. Loaded with all the crap the various Ray's put on their pies.
Dan Humphrey
Dan is overearnest, smug, and unbearable. Like a lot of the folks on Chowhound. Which is why he, like a lot of the folks on Chowhound (and like Vanessa), would be a Di Fara fan. He's also writing a pretentious short story or a "Shouts & Murmurs" piece about the Di Fara experience in hopes of getting it in the New Yorker.
Serena van der Woodsen
Serena has a kind, goofy side, so she'd be comfortable slumming it in pizzaland. But she's totally high-maintenance, so only Una Pizza Napoletana will do. Then again, Dan could puppy-dog-eye her into a trip to Totonno's (it's deep to wander Coney in the off season), after which she'd reveal her vulnerable side and wonder "Why can't we always be like this?"
Nate Archibald
Nate is totally dull. He gives little thought to what he eats and just grabs an unimaginative slice of pepperoni at whatever pizzeria is closest. (Unless Vanessa drags him to Di Fara.)
Chuck Bass
Chuck Bass eats at whatever pizzeria is still open after he gets out of his burlesque parlor or the strip clubs. Since the New York burlesque scene seems to be centered on the Lower East Side, let's say Rosario's. It's open till 5 a.m. If he's cruising the West Side strip clubs, let's say 99¢ Fresh Pizza, open 24 hours.
Rufus would make homemade pizza (with some sort of expensive Spanish ham, imported "00" flour, and buffalo mozzarella) and then guilt-trip Dan and Jenny into staying in, listening to him blather about Lincoln Hawk and Lisa Loeb. Lily van der Woodsen would show up unexpectedly, have a bite of pizza, swallow with a pained expression, and then make a grandiose statement.
Also, Lilly Vanderwoodsen would probably eat Rufus' pizza (like he used to make in the old days!), but would preface it by calling him up and saying "I was in the neighborhood picking up some fresh salumi on Graham Avenue in Bk, and I was wondering if I could stop by..."
"Vanessa would totally be a 'Di Fara diehard.' All the way. Why? Vanessa sucks. She's annoying and oppressively self-righteous in that way that only certain chip-on-shoulder Brooklynites can be."
I don't watch Gossip Girls but I know a person JUST LIKE THAT.
I guess since we are all coming out of the "gossip girl fan closet", count me in. but where would Dorota get her pizza? thats the one I would like to know.
The characters in the show are far too stupid and brainlessly pretentious to have ever heard of Di Fara's or Lazaara's. And none of them would go to Midwood for any reason.
Why am I not surprised Adam watches this show? (AND WHY NOT? Guilty pleasure of '08, man...) Spot on with Vanessa and Dan, and the Rufus bit cracked me up because it's so true. :)
This is so awesome. Though the only place mentioned I've been to is Grimaldi's and my own tastes are probably closest to Nate's...now that I don't live in NYC anymore, when I come back pretty much any New York pizza will suffice.
@boltchloer: I originally started watching it along with my girlfriend and wasn't immediately hooked. It took a while. I don't think you have to like all the characters in order to like a show. In GG, the most interesting characters are Chuck and Blair, whose scheming drives much of the plot. As in any soap opera, a large part of the (guilty) pleasure in watching comes from the very fact that you dislike many of the characters and enjoy seeing their flaws cause their downfall—or how they surprise you with an unexpected redeeming quality that makes you like them, however briefly, in spite of their annoying nature.
This is in contrast to a show whose characters have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, like, say, Grey's Anatomy, one of the gf's programs that I refuse to watch.
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22 Comments:
Brilliant assessment! Spot on....
Also, Lilly Vanderwoodsen would probably eat Rufus' pizza (like he used to make in the old days!), but would preface it by calling him up and saying "I was in the neighborhood picking up some fresh salumi on Graham Avenue in Bk, and I was wondering if I could stop by..."
JudgeFudge at 9:36AM on 12/03/08
Yes! Yes!
"Vanessa would totally be a 'Di Fara diehard.' All the way. Why? Vanessa sucks. She's annoying and oppressively self-righteous in that way that only certain chip-on-shoulder Brooklynites can be."
I don't watch Gossip Girls but I know a person JUST LIKE THAT.
Michele Humes at 11:10AM on 12/03/08
Ha! I thought I was the only one who watched Gossip Girl!
Now, I have a question - where would someone go for the best pizza in Manhattan?
Before Sunrise at 11:26AM on 12/03/08
@Before Sunset: This might help: http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2007/11/slice-manhattan-pizza-map.html Green checkmarks = recommended.
Adam Kuban at 12:05PM on 12/03/08
what about aaron rose? fornino's?
NYminknit at 1:41PM on 12/03/08
I guess since we are all coming out of the "gossip girl fan closet", count me in. but where would Dorota get her pizza? thats the one I would like to know.
franklindelanobluth at 1:45PM on 12/03/08
@NYminknit: Aaron Rose should get his pizza at Al Forno, when the producers send his lame ass packing back to Providence, R.I.
@franklindelanobluth: I was going to include Dorota but couldn't find a good picture. But let's do it here, sans image.
Dorota doesn't eat pizza. "Oh, Miss Blair, you shouldn't eat the pizza. It's not good for you. And your acne will come back."
Adam Kuban at 1:53PM on 12/03/08
The characters in the show are far too stupid and brainlessly pretentious to have ever heard of Di Fara's or Lazaara's. And none of them would go to Midwood for any reason.
BrooksofSheffield at 2:00PM on 12/03/08
Thanks Adam! I haven't eaten a "great" pizza in Manhattan yet, so am looking for suggestions.
Before Sunrise at 6:55PM on 12/03/08
Adam, this is genius. I'm so glad to meet more people who can't bear Vanessa or Dan.
klg19 at 7:05PM on 12/03/08
Vanessa and Dan (and Rufus) are insufferable. Blair and Chuck are where it's at!
Adam Kuban at 7:08PM on 12/03/08
FYI, the title of the show was "It's A Wonderful Lie". The title mentioned above, "O Brother, Where Bart Thou?" does not air until December 8th 2008.
iceberg at 9:14PM on 12/03/08
Thanks for pointing that out, Iceberg. Just fixed it.
Adam Kuban at 10:37PM on 12/03/08
Adults watch this show?
hmcnally at 1:46PM on 12/04/08
@hmcnally: Obvs. Duh.
Adam Kuban at 1:56PM on 12/04/08
It's posts like this that keep me up weeping at night while thinking, "I will never be as cool as Adam."
roboppy at 3:05PM on 12/04/08
@roboppy: I am not cool. I'm pretty dorky. And old. And have no business watching or writing about shows for teen-age girls.
Adam Kuban at 3:10PM on 12/04/08
Why am I not surprised Adam watches this show? (AND WHY NOT? Guilty pleasure of '08, man...) Spot on with Vanessa and Dan, and the Rufus bit cracked me up because it's so true. :)
Emily Koh at 7:53AM on 12/05/08
This is so awesome. Though the only place mentioned I've been to is Grimaldi's and my own tastes are probably closest to Nate's...now that I don't live in NYC anymore, when I come back pretty much any New York pizza will suffice.
wrain at 3:16PM on 12/08/08
why do you watch gossip girl if you hate so many of the characters?
boltchloer at 12:46AM on 12/10/08
@boltchloer: I originally started watching it along with my girlfriend and wasn't immediately hooked. It took a while. I don't think you have to like all the characters in order to like a show. In GG, the most interesting characters are Chuck and Blair, whose scheming drives much of the plot. As in any soap opera, a large part of the (guilty) pleasure in watching comes from the very fact that you dislike many of the characters and enjoy seeing their flaws cause their downfall—or how they surprise you with an unexpected redeeming quality that makes you like them, however briefly, in spite of their annoying nature.
This is in contrast to a show whose characters have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, like, say, Grey's Anatomy, one of the gf's programs that I refuse to watch.
Adam Kuban at 1:37AM on 12/10/08
@boltchloer: I would also point out that this was written with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
Adam Kuban at 1:39AM on 12/10/08