Did no one notice Adam's comment about having funny messages printed on the bottom of the boxes? Somewhere, some poor sap is excitedly clutching his computer-ordered pizza box, flipping it upside down to read this message, and shrieking in idiotic horror as the pizza flies out and lands on the floor, cheese-side down.
@feisty - I noticed, and I couldn't believe Adam didn't say what it was!! It's a trick...now we all have to order. =)
No one has to order, because I did it for you. Look no further than above. I was originally going to link to a photo of the bottom of a Domino's box but couldn't find any on the web. So I broke down and ordered a pizza on Friday to document it. More photos, after the jump.
Medium D-style hexagon box, Domino's. Two-color ink on corrugated cardboard. December 12, 2008.
This also gave me an excuse to do the first of what I hope will be an ongoing series of "Pizza Box Museum" posts on Slice. There's quite a range of pizza boxes out there, and, one night while staring at a rather interesting box, it hit me that I've never really documented the packaging end of the pizza scene—at least not with the obsessiveness I've devoted to slice shots and "pizza upskirt" shots.
I fully understand that this will be of interest to not many of you. If not, feel free to click on outta here. But for the rest of you, here are shots of the other "wacky" snippets of box copy on the current crop of Domino's boxes.
I first mentioned on Thursday that Domino's seemed to be trying to use humor as part of its brand identity and that this strategy even carried over to its pizza boxes.
Corru-Skeletal Technology: This box has been engineered to protect the pizza inside against crushing forces.
Since 1995, Domino's uses what John Correll of Correll Concepts calls a D-style hexagon box. It's an offshoot of the octagonal "Octabox" design that Domino's first adopted in 1988. The cut corners do a couple things—they keep the pizza from sliding around in the package, thus reducing slice separation, and minimize trapped dead-air space, which can lead to faster cool-down.
Isn't that what Luke fired his proton torpedos down to destroy the first Death Star?
While I wanted to document this box, I didn't want this mini project to cost a fortune, so I checked out the "online coupons" section of the Domino's site and found a coupon good for any of the new Oven Baked Sandwich line and a 10-inch one-topping pie.
For some reason, I thought banana peppers (aka pepperoncini) would be good for my one topping. They weren't. This was the worst pizza topping I've had in a while. The peppers weren't spicy, as I expected they would be, and instead tasted pickley and sour. I could only get through one piece before trying to foist the rest of this stuff on coworkers (who, wisely, were having none of it).
About the Oven Baked Sandwich—I'll get to that tomorrow. Stay tuned.
@greenolivemedia: Thanks! Will blog that as a PBM piece.
@ccbweb: So I discovered. They're nice between or after slices (Papa John's includes one or two in the box with their pies). But too crazy as a topping.
Yes, that is exactly where Luke needed to fire his torpedos in order to destroy the first Death Star. That should be the first clue that whatever is inside needs to be destroyed fast!!! Sorry, I have a strong dislike for Domino's.
There was something similar on cake packaging in the UK- some company had released strips of brownies as "Brownie Fingers", packaged in a box not unlike you'd get fries in from McDonald's, or similar.
Printed on the underside: "Inversion may cause loss of fingers."
You pizza bloggers have been spoiled. You could do worse than have to scarf down the remainder of a Dominos pizza. (Though I will admit that its thin-crust pizza is virtually inedible.) Dominoes' online ordering service is a godsend at 2am. I've probably been too drunk to notice that the box is funny. If I worked in your office I would unabashedly finish off that pizza.
@aargh: Seriously, I often order from Domino's at 2 a.m. when nothing else is open. And I'm of the mindset that (almost) no pizza is inedible. But I would ask you to try a banana-pepper pizza before you tar me as spoiled. It is just not good. Not an all-banana-pepper-and-only-banana-pepper pizza.
Namaste to you, too. I honor the place where your consumption meets my leftover pizza.
Haha, I saw the picture and was like, "Are those banana peppers?! Spewww..." and I was right =X It just doesn't look right! But thank you, kind sir, for indulging my curiosity and making me not need to buy one of these pizzas :)
Adam -- Yes, OK. I was rash in labeling you guys spoiled. It is a shame to order food and not finish eating it. So what I was saying is that I would sickly choke down a banana pepper pizza so as to not anger the pizza gods. At Lombardi's I will be a purist and stick to a margarita pizza. But Dominos is not a thing for purists. Pineapple and buffalo chicken -- sure! Even better, you can schedule your pizza to arrive days, weeks, or months in advance. In a way it has gone beyond food.
@aargh: Yeah. I feel the same way. My grandmother hammered it into me that it's a sin to waste food. So I tried to foist it off on my coworkers before dumping the pizza. I even tried to pick them off a second slice, but they had leaked their pickley badness into the underlying pizza.
You bring up a good point about the scheduling. I guess I could understand scheduling an hour or two into the future, but days or months is strange. I suppose you could go in and, on one day, schedule an entire month or year's worth of lunches/dinners.
Okay this might be a little morbid for a pizza post, but you could also order pizzas for like your anniversary every year (let's assume both parties are cool with that, or perhaps have a special Domino's story, whatever, it could happen) and then one day the person dies but the other person still gets a pizza on that special day and is all omg!
I watch too many chick flicks, it seems.
your numerous dominos posts have got me craving it so bad... so i tried to order one, and the dominos whose "delivery area" i fall into is closed. the online system automatically redirects me to the other dominos in town, who then calls me to tell me they cant deliver it to me, nor can i come pick it up, because carry out is "closed." what? grr. and i had designed the prettiest pizza.
@redzerostar: From the unofficial Slice TOS statement: "Reader understands that Slice is not responsible for service or lack thereof at pizzerias, independent or chain, mentioned on site. Slice does, however, assume full responsibility for creating intense hunger on part of reader and can only offer humble apologies in that event."
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19 Comments:
Might I submit this for consideration for the Pizza Box Museum:
http://greenolivemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/fine-art-spotted-on-fellinis-pizza.html
greenolivemedia at 10:24AM on 12/15/08
Great stuff, thanks! I'd very likely not have seen these, well, ever but got a good chuckle out of it. Clever people at work in the world.
Pepperonicini...good to eat _with_ a pizza, not good to eat _on_ a pizza.
ccbweb at 10:29AM on 12/15/08
@greenolivemedia: Thanks! Will blog that as a PBM piece.
@ccbweb: So I discovered. They're nice between or after slices (Papa John's includes one or two in the box with their pies). But too crazy as a topping.
Adam Kuban at 10:49AM on 12/15/08
Yes, that is exactly where Luke needed to fire his torpedos in order to destroy the first Death Star. That should be the first clue that whatever is inside needs to be destroyed fast!!! Sorry, I have a strong dislike for Domino's.
queensblondie at 10:55AM on 12/15/08
whaaat? I like them on my pizza. not alone, but good with maybe pepperoni, or cheesesteak.
franklindelanobluth at 2:00PM on 12/15/08
There was something similar on cake packaging in the UK- some company had released strips of brownies as "Brownie Fingers", packaged in a box not unlike you'd get fries in from McDonald's, or similar.
Printed on the underside: "Inversion may cause loss of fingers."
/b
beemoh at 2:01PM on 12/15/08
You pizza bloggers have been spoiled. You could do worse than have to scarf down the remainder of a Dominos pizza. (Though I will admit that its thin-crust pizza is virtually inedible.) Dominoes' online ordering service is a godsend at 2am. I've probably been too drunk to notice that the box is funny. If I worked in your office I would unabashedly finish off that pizza.
Namaste.
aargh at 2:46PM on 12/15/08
@aargh: Seriously, I often order from Domino's at 2 a.m. when nothing else is open. And I'm of the mindset that (almost) no pizza is inedible. But I would ask you to try a banana-pepper pizza before you tar me as spoiled. It is just not good. Not an all-banana-pepper-and-only-banana-pepper pizza.
Namaste to you, too. I honor the place where your consumption meets my leftover pizza.
Adam Kuban at 3:08PM on 12/15/08
I agree, pickled jalapenos do not work on pizza. Fresh jalapenos, yes, pickled ones, no.
ESNY1077 at 3:26PM on 12/15/08
Haha, I saw the picture and was like, "Are those banana peppers?! Spewww..." and I was right =X It just doesn't look right! But thank you, kind sir, for indulging my curiosity and making me not need to buy one of these pizzas :)
feistyfoodie at 4:13PM on 12/15/08
i am speechless in a GOOD AND BAD way when i saw that box.
nextgospel at 4:57PM on 12/15/08
I love bannana peppers, but on pizza, they have to go with other toppings. They're best on cold cut subs and hoggies.
Raiders757 at 7:46PM on 12/15/08
Adam -- Yes, OK. I was rash in labeling you guys spoiled. It is a shame to order food and not finish eating it. So what I was saying is that I would sickly choke down a banana pepper pizza so as to not anger the pizza gods. At Lombardi's I will be a purist and stick to a margarita pizza. But Dominos is not a thing for purists. Pineapple and buffalo chicken -- sure! Even better, you can schedule your pizza to arrive days, weeks, or months in advance. In a way it has gone beyond food.
aargh at 11:23PM on 12/15/08
i imagine they taste like the banana peppers at subway. which ruin everything they touch. im so, so sorry for you that you ordered them on pizza.
redzerostar at 12:47AM on 12/16/08
@aargh: Yeah. I feel the same way. My grandmother hammered it into me that it's a sin to waste food. So I tried to foist it off on my coworkers before dumping the pizza. I even tried to pick them off a second slice, but they had leaked their pickley badness into the underlying pizza.
You bring up a good point about the scheduling. I guess I could understand scheduling an hour or two into the future, but days or months is strange. I suppose you could go in and, on one day, schedule an entire month or year's worth of lunches/dinners.
Adam Kuban at 11:33AM on 12/16/08
Okay this might be a little morbid for a pizza post, but you could also order pizzas for like your anniversary every year (let's assume both parties are cool with that, or perhaps have a special Domino's story, whatever, it could happen) and then one day the person dies but the other person still gets a pizza on that special day and is all omg!
I watch too many chick flicks, it seems.
feistyfoodie at 2:32PM on 12/16/08
your numerous dominos posts have got me craving it so bad... so i tried to order one, and the dominos whose "delivery area" i fall into is closed. the online system automatically redirects me to the other dominos in town, who then calls me to tell me they cant deliver it to me, nor can i come pick it up, because carry out is "closed." what? grr. and i had designed the prettiest pizza.
redzerostar at 1:19AM on 12/19/08
@redzerostar: From the unofficial Slice TOS statement: "Reader understands that Slice is not responsible for service or lack thereof at pizzerias, independent or chain, mentioned on site. Slice does, however, assume full responsibility for creating intense hunger on part of reader and can only offer humble apologies in that event."
Adam Kuban at 1:33AM on 12/19/08
haha, thanks ;) i just had to share my pizza related angst with someone who'd understand.
redzerostar at 2:54PM on 12/19/08