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That's Amore: 'I See Your Beautiful Face and Your Banging Body When I Come by for a Slice'

Posted by Adam Kuban, December 5, 2008 at 6:30 AM

In which Slice wades waist-deep into the plaintive muck of Craigslist's Missed Connections in search of pizza-related longing. Such is the swamp of love that spawns That's Amore. —The Mgmt.

RE: you're a liar and i hate your guts (Boston): Why I think about you....worry about you.....even give 2 shits about you is currently beyond my comprehension........it's because you loooooooooooove me. Like a fat kid and a cheese-stuffed pizza crust.

Boston

• the one with the cute face - m4m - 19 (huntington ave): you were with your friends at the massart cafeteria. I was the one in the muscle shirt eating parfait. I saw you check me out and we made eye contact. You have sandy brown hair, and are HOT! two of your friends had pinstripe hats and you were going to town on a piece of pizza. I couldnt help but notice the way you made eye contact with me when you slid that greasy slice between your lips. ¶ I go to MCPHS and live in EWT on the top floor. FIND ME

New York City

Come on, New York. We have the highest concentration of pizzerias of any city in the nation. The pizza-related Missed Connections in the Big Apple for this round-up sucked. I'm only including this handful as a sop for all the New York sliceheads who read this site.

• SINGAS FAMOUS PIZZA - w4m - 24 (ELMHURST): I SAW YOU WORKING ON SATURDAY NIGHT AT SINGAS ON BROADWAY...YOU WERE WEARIN A BLUE YANKEES HAT AND HAD ADORABLE FRECKLES. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPER CUTE :) LOL
• Cute girl on 28th street bet- 6th & 7th - m4w: I saw you at Waldys today. its on 28th street on 6th ave. I wanted to get a seat but it was packed. You had ordered some pasta when i had a classic maragateria pizza pie. ¶ You were sitting by your self. I would have talked to you, but it seems that you didnt want to be bothered with. ¶ You had your hair up with a black bandana. You also had a grey sweat shirt with white horses around it. ¶ Me Brown short hair, with black jacket, underneath wearing white & little blue stripe lined dress up shirt. ¶ Just wanted to say that you are amazingly beautiful. If by any chance you do read this. I would like to get some coffee with you. On me... Hope to hear from you [Waldy's is pretty damn close to the Slice–Serious Eats office. Other than that, this is a pretty boring MissedCon. —The Mgmt.]
• Gorgeous green eyes again on the train, just now around 1:10pm - w4m - 26 (ASTORIA --Ditmars station on the N train): This is the second time I've seen you. I saw you months back and today, you walk on the train,sit next to my friend but on the other side of the bar. I am sure I don't have to tell you how absolutely gorgeous you are. You have dark hair, kinda in a faux hawk style (very nice), green eyes, that look like they could change to a light hazel depending on what you are wearing. You had on dark windbreaker type jacket and darker khaki colored pants. You looked at me and I smiled (or tried to) and then you kinda smiled back but then proceeded to put on your headphones and stare at your side kick. I'm the curly haired brunette in the black pea coat and gray slacks who was holding a pizza box. I got off at 36th ave. I hope you see this! I would LOVE to get to know you.
• Girl with glasses eating slice of pizza at Pinnacle today - m4w - 27 (Harlem / Morningside): This is for the girl I saw today at Pinnacle near Columbia University around 12:45 or so. You have glasses, and were drinking a Yellow Vitamin Water and eating a slice of pizza with what appeared to be spinach on it. Anyway, if you read this I justed wanted to say that you are very cute. How about next time we eat together?
• Penn Station Lust - w4m (Penn Station): I stood in front of Krispy Kreme waiting for my train in Penn Station and you stood next to me. You had a bike and were eating pizza hut. You had beautiful flowing red hair. We glanced at each other but I was too shy to say anything. Tell me what I was wearing and I'll know it was you. You can ride MY train!!

New Jersey

• Girl with son in John's pizza - m4w - 30 (Brooklawn): Hi you were in john's pizza in brooklawn around 7:30 P.M wednesday night! we stared at each other a few times and smiled. You were wearing grey sweat pants and sweatshirt, black long jacket and wearing glasses. When you left you drove away in a grey ford focus. Just wanted to say you were very cute and wanted to get a drink or coffee sometime with you. What did we both have to do to pay for our food. [She must have been hot if the sweatpants weren't a deterrent for this guy. —The Mgmt.]
• GORGEOUS FORT LEE COP AT 7-11 / Pizza Nova store at Lemoine Ave today - w4m - 28 (Fort Lee): I saw you today at the mini-mall entering the 7-11 today. You are absolutely gorgeous. You are built like a brick house and have a face that melts my heart. I saw you once before over the summer. I'd love to hear from you. On the back of your uniform shirt there was writing (other than the word POLICE ) on it -- tell me what it is and the color of your hair. I would love to chat and grab a coffee?

Philly

• your dumb ass orange fixie (south street): i was crossing south street and you almost hit me on your stupid hipster orange fixie. you jerk. you had a pizza bag on the back of your bike so i guess you work for giannas. im gonna kick your ass. stupid. stupid....stupid ass. go to heck. [Yeah. What's up with hipsters and their fixie bikes? I like gears. —The Mgmt.]
• Cashier At Pearl - 23 (South Street.): I came in yesterday and bought some brushes. You have a great smile. Just thought you should know. Also the time I came in before and saw you, we talked about Pizza Trucks. [Pizza trucks are great. This guy or gal is a keeper. —The Mgmt.]

Chicago

• Girl Working the Fast Food Counter in Target Wearing a Starbucks Hat - m4w (Target on Diversey): You had a Starbucks hat on even though you were working the Pizza Hut counter in Target - you were also absolutely beautiful. This was Tuesday after 5PM. ¶ You work hard to pay for school - maybe I can help you pay for school so you can work a little less? [Um, is this a weird thinly veiled prostitution reference? —The Mgmt.]
• I delivered pizza to you last night - m4w - 24 (stave): I delivered some food to you last night. You came downstairs immediately after to let your dog out, and I totally lingered. We shared a few glances at each other. I hope you order from us again sometime soon. [Creepy! —The Mgmt.]

KC Metro Area

• pizza street yesterday - m4w - 28 (olathe): We were both there around 1pm or so and made eye contact a couple times. you were with someone so i didn't want to interrupt. [Olathe! My hometown! But I've never been to Pizza Street. It's after my time there. —The Mgmt.]
• Fine Looking Burnett - m4w (Pizza hut (Wilson Rd)): You came into Pizza Hut on Wilson Rd about 12:30 this afternoon and took my breath away. Me: Red flannel Jacket You: Blue outfit. Would love to hookup if interested. Tell me why you came in so I know its you. [Um, I would guess she was there to get pizza, dude. Duh. —The Mgmt.]
• Hot dude at CiCi's Pizza Thursday night - m4m - 24 (Cicis- North Oak): Hey there. You were helping out at Cici's pizza for some elementary night. You were wearing a black fleece pullover and gray underarmour sweatpants. Looking very hot bro. I am a former college ball player who thought they would love to be coached or play with you. Hit me back if this is you and you are interested. [What's up with the sweatpants today? —The Mgmt.]

Portland

• To Princess Hotness - m4w (Oasis Pizza): I see your beautiful face and your banging body when I come by for a slice. What a tight, sweet little unit you are. Just the thought of you sends shivers up my timbers. ¶ I would walk on my lips through busted glass to spend an hour in your company...you hot little fox. ¶ Your secret admirer, Louie. [I used to go to Pizza Oasis when I lived in Portland. And one of my friends worked there. Fun to see it in the mix. —The Mgmt.]

Bay Area

• Sexy guy at Mary's Pizza in RP 12/3 8:30ish - w4m - 23 (rohnert pk / cotati): You're super freaking delicious. I wanna lick every inch of your naked body. But anyways, you were there with your brother, I'm guessing cuz you look a like, and you have stretched ears, and tribal tattoo up your left arm. You are probably more tattooed, but I couldn't tell from my seat. ¶ Yeah, so actually this is the second time I have seen you, the first time was in August at an art show at Buddha's Palm in Sebastopol. I'm pretty sure you must get your ink from Christian. I was there on a date, and I had to drool a little, over you then. ha. ¶ Well yeah. Anyways. Thanks for looking hot and making my night.
• crying at the bar at wolfgang puck in lax - m4w: i saw an opening and wanted pizza to go down with my whiskey so I sat next to you in your business attire. you were loud on the phone, whiny voice..didn't really look at you but could tell you were hot. not from theremones or anything, maybe just the desperation in your raspy, whiny voice. I hope you get your job back and returned from a safe flight.

California Pizza Kitchen

An inordinate amount of missedcons seemed to happen in CPK in this roundup. CPK must have a policy of only hiring hot people.

• Jennifer Owen CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN - m4w - 30 (Schaumburg): You were my waitress a few months ago. You wore pigtails and were adorable. Would love to talk to you.
• waitress at california pizza kitchen - m4w - 23 (king of prussia): To the cute waitress at California Pizza kitchen who served us tonight. I think you were new and your name was Krista. Just wanted to say I think your really cute!! If you can guess who this is just let me know what I was wearing. hope to hear from you!
• Hot Waiter at California Pizza Kitchen in the Pru - m4m - 22 (Back Bay): You were my waiter at California Pizza Kitchen tonight. I was having dinner with a friend there around 5:00-6:00ish. We were sitting in a booth close the bar. Your name starts with an S. I think you're very cute and would like to meet for drinks sometime. If you read this send me email with your pic. I hope to hear from you.
• California Pizza Kitchen - m4m - 25 (Bellevue, WA): You were the host a couple weeks ago and you sat us..... I should have said something :(

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Tags: Craigslist, That's Amore