A Hamburger Today

Probably Something to Be Thankful For

From the Onion: "AUBURN, WA—James Stallard, 29, experienced feelings of profound loneliness and alienation Monday upon discovering that his home lay just outside the delivery zones of two nearby Domino's Pizza franchises. 'I am invisible, a nonexistent entity in the eyes of Domino's,' Stallard uttered while staring blankly out his third-story window...."

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