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Reality Check: Red Baron Pan Pizza Supreme

Red Baron Pan Pizza

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Aww, hell. I was all ready to write a damn "Reality Check" review of this thing, and was indeed about three-quarters through it, when I went to look up something on the box.

Ugh. In the fine print, right below the admonition to "Cook before serving" (duh), is the warning, "Pizza must be baked in a regular oven. Never use a toaster oven or portable oven. Failure to follow all instructions on package may cause smoke, and rare cases, fire."

Dammit. Too late. I already cooked it. In a toaster oven. The pizza didn't burst into flames, which is more than I can say about someone's pita bread earlier today, but it did not cook up very well and is so far from what the box promises that I cannot review this product fairly at this time.

But, I do think my experience can serve as a warning of two sorts. Namely ...

1) Do not cook Red Baron Pan Pizza in a toaster oven.

2) In general, don't be a dumbass, and always read the box instructions, even if they're boiled down to 3 dumb-as-dirt infographics (as they were here), there may be important information in the fine print.

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