That's Not Pizza!

Pizza But Not Pizza Week has got me thinking: What pizza related item have you seen that has made you exclaim "That's not pizza!" It could be something silly like pizza candy, a bizarre concoction from a local spot or one of the many wacky attempts at "the Next Big Pie" by a big chain. I asked a few Slice writers, but we wanna know what kind of pie would make someone doubt the crusty, saucy, cheesy stuff.

20100708mmsupreme.jpg Pizza Girl: "Maggie Moo's is an ice cream shop where I recently saw an advertisement for ice cream pizza. Everything about this is wrong, from the picture of their mascot tossing dough (the 'crust' is a flat pallet of ice cream which I assume has been frozen hard, but certainly is neither dough-like nor tossed) to the red icing and the idea that 'the pizza that melts in your mouth' might ever be a good thing."

Damon Gambuto: "So my 'that's not pizza story' takes place in Venice, Italy. I know what you're thinking: how can it not be pizza in Italy? Well, it was my first trip to Italy. I was an 8-year-old boy who couldn't have been more excited to see the country that—as an Italian American—seemed like half of me. When I finally saw (and ate) the pizza there, I found myself thinking, 'that's not pizza.' My New York pizza sensibilities were confounded. It would take me years to develop a taste for the authentic stuff."

L.A. Pizza Maven: "Y'know, I just can't think of anything that I've personally experienced. That cone pizza thing AK posted a year ago in NY was plenty sketchy for me! I wish I had more to say about strange pizza but I generally avoid such creations."

Adam Kuban: "I hate to say it, but one time when I was visiting my parents, my dad was like, 'I found a really great way to make thin crust pizza!'

"He's REALLY into thin, crackery crusts; his Midwest (Milwaukee) upbringing, I suppose. I like that style, too. But I think I drew the line when he revealed that he was using FLOUR TORTILLAS.

"Then again, with some of the bar-style pizzas I've eaten in my day, they might as well have been on flour tortillas. Ai yah!"

Nick Solares: "Here is a 'that's not pizza' for you: Artichoke dip on a pizza. I love Francis and the guys at Artichoke Pizza, I love their crusty, blackened Sicilian they sell but the signature artichoke pizza is just weird."

pizzacandy.jpgPizzalicious Lauren: I was in a candy store and saw a marshmallow pizza slice. I literally laughed out loud when I saw it and I'm sure I exclaimed "That's not pizza!" I bought it to send to my friend, Dave who likes to buy weird candies and bizarre confections. Unfortunately, I left it on a coffee table in my house and the dog ate it. That of course led me to exclaim again (this time to the dog), "That's not pizza!"

What do you think? Tell us what has made you exclaim "That's not pizza!"

Serious Eats Newsletters

Keep up with our latest recipes, tips, techniques and where to eat!


Comments can take up to a minute to appear - please be patient!

Previewing your comment: