Top It Up!
Buffalo Chicken Pizza
Toss some shredded grilled chicken breast (you can get it from the deli department) with a good glug of Frank's hot sauce. Apply to your pizza, sprinkle with chunks of blue cheese, and bake until crisp and bubbly. Once it comes out of the oven, sprinkle on a bit of extra hot sauce, dot with more blue cheese, and garnish with scallions.
If you want to get even more crazy, go ahead and use frozen chicken nuggets in place of the shredded chicken. For real. We won't judge you.
Pepperoni, Pimentos, and 'Peños
Tater Tots, Bacon, Jalapeños, Hot Sauce, and Onions
I mean, they live right next to each other in the frozen foods aisle...why shouldn't they live together in the oven? Slice tater tots in half lengthwise and place them directly on your frozen pizza. Sprinkle with a bit of grated cheese, then add some par-cooked lardons of slab bacon, some sliced pickled jalapeños, and sliced onions. The tots will crisp up in the oven as the pizza bakes, the cheese fusing everything together into one big, happy, tasty raft of carbs. A drizzle of hot sauce at the end ties the whole thing together. Like a rug.
If you've got the inclination, take Chicago editor Nick's suggestions: put an egg on it. Crack an egg or two in the center about half way through cooking. Or to go fancier, use a dozen quail eggs, one on each bite-sized portion.