'The Onion' on Serious Eats

Probably Something to Be Thankful For

From the Onion: "AUBURN, WA—James Stallard, 29, experienced feelings of profound loneliness and alienation Monday upon discovering that his home lay just outside the delivery zones of two nearby Domino's Pizza franchises. 'I am invisible, a nonexistent entity in the eyes of Domino's,' Stallard uttered while staring blankly out his third-story window...."... More

L'Asso Pizza Guide in Next Week's 'Onion'

If you're not into the habit of picking up the Onion satirical newspaper, here's a reason next week. From an email we just got from the folks at L'Asso: The L'asso Pizza Guide—the definitive guide to pizza—will be carried as a NYC Onion insert (10/9/2008). The guide is a humorous and informational guide to pizza—from its humble beginnings in ancient times to its current incarnation as one of the world's favorite foods. It's been a year in the making!The one-of-a-kind guide chews on the anthropological aspects of pizza (Are you a dutiful dabber, a hi-fi folder, or a spicy sprinkler?),... More

In Videos: Domino's Tests Limits of What Humans Will Eat on The Onion News Network

After spending 30 years testing the limits of what human beings will eat, the Domino's Pizza Institute has come to a startling discovery: "Decreasing the nutritional value and increasing the visual repulsiveness of their pizzas only makes them more popular." In other words, the Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza is a hit! Based on these findings, the Crispy Nacho Platter Pizza, Big New York Hot Dog Pizza, and Strawberries & Cream Milkshake Dessert Pizza may be coming to a Domino's near you. And after that, maybe even pizza topped with garbage! My brain says, "No," but my stomach says, "BRING... More

Pizza Greases the Wheels of Labor

The Onion The Onion nails it this week with its story "Potential Employee Uprising Quelled by Free Pizza." "Everyone's been fed up and ready to explode at management for weeks," production designer Carolyn Wurster said. "But then all those pizzas showed up, and it just didn't seem like the right time to start demanding a legitimate healthcare plan or salary raises that reflect the amount of work we do." Added Wurster, "They ordered like 10 huge pies." Heh. This is so dead on.... More

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